4) She of Mesmerising Dispensation

Canto 1
I have preached piety while in the quagmire
Of transgression and trespass
I have held a matchstick behind my back
And blatantly claimed I held a candle.
I have made child with a strange grey-eyed girl
And dearly paid for it
I have said some terrible lies in my life
But I’ve never lied about my feelings for you.

I have sampled your breasts in test-drive mode
I have kissed your lips ‘til they cracked,
Tickled your bloom ‘til you all quaked
Have clasped onto your heart with tyre-grip
Mixed with balmy lubrication
But I have never tantalizingly made you
Whimper for joy.
You are mine but you are not guaranteed
I’ m yours yet if you break me I’m no longer warranted
So we are ruled by the veto sewers around us
The suicide of intransient society
The rigidity of deep-sunken norms
In your dreams I am he
(I still can be him in your reality).
Where can I take you so we can incautiously philander
‘til the plot thickens?
Welcome me to your dome like in the olden days,
Or come to mine.
I remember I was too close to you,
Closer than your skin, than your breath.
Your heart used to be my address, huh?
Who evicted me, when, why? How?

I played second best, you played second worst
Until my best became the worst thing in your eyes
You stayed the emblem of my banners
You stayed the invisible critic to my manners.
My confidence is you,
My inward reward, my soul’s steward.
I can oar your boat any time for you have rowed
Mine many times before.
Remember when the earth shook to our petting
I will not blunder and mention the setting.

Like an eternally enveloped enigma
So is the unresponsiveness of our love, this dormancy
Has gnawed at my conscience. Is it Irene?
I cannot be sorry for Lavigne
I’m only sorry I did not make her with you.
How I wish I had offspring by you!
You remain the girl who hosted me nightly in your veranda.
You remain the girl whose eyes are allergic to jacaranda.
You remain to me: Kimberley Hannah Amanda.

Canto2

I’m having visions
Of pleasure
Beyond measure
Beyond erasure:
Leisure and pressure,
We will find what to treasure
I have loved some and tasted the swampy road of emotional treason
Others felt like the heaviest sentence in the worst prison,
You only I never once needed a reason
Only you are earnestly and effortlessly pleasing.
Please trust
This ain’t lust
It is me trying to adjust:
If I should have you then I must.

As I wax older may it be you that I see daily.
You are in my head, I am in your bosom.
If watered this garden can re-blossom.
No solemn promise was ever made

Time and I are still locked in that closet of great heaves
Trees still have their green leaves
Where my heart once harvested sheaves
Before the thieves; how loneliness bereaves,
With every longing the soul grieves
With such pangs of yearning to be once again received,
Love is about us two, be not deceived...
Take me back to those days I you urge
Give our emotions another gush and upsurge.
Amen.